Bad Bunny’s relationship status has baffled and intrigued audiences all year. In his new album, Nadie Sabe Lo Que Va a Pasar Mañana, the genre-defying Puerto Rican rapper put to rest all the salacious rumors and confirmed that his one true love is … Lionel Messi, the former Paris Saint-Germain and FC Barcelona soccer player who recently transferred to Miami’s major-league team to presumably retire alongside midwesterners, Disney adults, and whatever other demographics make up the population of Florida. We counted five Messi mentions, making it clear that the World Cup–winning athlete takes up a lot of real estate in Bad Bunny’s heart. He also alluded to his other relationships — his current flame Kendall Jenner appears to get a few shoutouts, primarily about their sex life. But so does his ex, Gabriela Berlingeri, who he seems to be on good terms with post-breakup. He even thanks her at one point — a surprisingly wholesome move considering he spends time in another song saying he was bitter about her texting other guys. Below, every Messi and messy lyric in the new Bad Bunny album:
All the Messi Lyrics
“Monaco”
Lo que tú haga’ a mí no me impresiona
Es como meter un gol después de Messi y Maradona
What you do doesn’t impress me
It’s like scoring a goal after Messi and Maradona
Messi mention, check.
“Teléfono Nuevo”
El Conejo es Messi, yo soy el Mbappé (Pa’ que sepa’)
“El Conejo” is Messi, I’m the Mbappé
Luar La L raps this verse in the song about longing for the past and being disgruntled with the music industry. If Bad Bunny is the GOAT Messi in the industry, then he is the Mbappé wunderkind.
“Vuelve Candy B”
Desde que Messi
Está en la USA to’ el mundo sabe quién es la cabra, ya no es Tom Brady
Since Messi is in the USA
Everyone knows who the GOAT is? It’s no longer Tom Brady
His boy Messi is No. 1 in his heart and No. 1 on his list of the greatest athletes of all time. Poor Tom Brady. His wife just left him, he’s dealing with an NFT lawsuit, and he’s still catching strays. Beating a man while he’s down.
“Thunder y Lightning”
Messi, hattrick
Estrella, Patrick
Messi, hattrick
Star, Patrick
Of course a wrestling stan would name his song after two WWC fighters, Thunder and Lightning. In a verse where Eladio Carrión and Bad Bunny trade bars about being rich and partying, Messi gets namechecked, alongside Patrick Star, Aston Martin cars, $100 bills, and Nas’s album Illmatic.
“Acho PR”
Maradona y Messi en el futbol
Pero soy la nueva estrella
Maradona and Messi in football
But I’m the new star
His love drove him to new heights.
All the Messy Lyrics
“Fina”
Que yo soy un bellaco, pero tú me gana’
Bien arrebata’o chingando en casa de tu hermana
That I am a scoundrel, but you beat me
Good snatch or fucking at your sister’s house
To’ el mundo habla, pero están de espectador
Se preguntan cómo nos comunicamo’, ey, mejor ni les contamo’
The whole world talks, but they’re spectators
They wonder how we communicate, but better to not even tell them.
We’re assuming these lyrics are about Kendall and Bad Bunny’s relationship. So, like, we can know you’re sleeping together at Kendall’s sister’s house, but we can’t know how y’all talk to each other?
“Gracias por Nada”
Pero a media noche desperté y te pillé to’ los texts
Tú con él, yo pichándole a toa’
But in the middle of the night I woke up and I caught you
All the texts, you with him, me paying for it all
Perhaps Bad Bunny and his ex Berlingeri broke up over her texting another man. Which isn’t so terrible considering the fact that the rapper spends much of the album talking about his own slutty adventures. Don’t let your boyfriend get in the way of finding the love of your life, ladies.
“No Me Quiero Casar”
Por el momento contigo no puedo estar, je
Yo siempre he sido un hijo ‘e puta, desde gestar, je
For now I can’t be with you, heh
I’ve always been a son of a bitch since I was born, heh
Or, maybe he and Berlingeri broke up because he had to deal with his own issues. Leave it to a man to figure his shit out only after you leave him.
“Acho PR”
Gracia’ a Dios cumplí to’ lo que soñé en la escuela
Gracia’ Dios por poner en mi camino
A Jan, a Noah y a Gabriela, je
Por eso ya yo no pido mucho cuando me acuesto
Thank God I accomplished everything I dreamed of in school
Thank God for putting Jan, Noah and Gabriela on my path, heh
That’s why I don’t ask for much when I go to bed anymore
Bad Bunny thanks Berlingeri in his musical tribute to those who helped him along the way. Carliz did not get a mention …
“Un Preview”
No me diga’ na’, yo no sigo consejo’, no
Bien loquito en la disco, me pego bailando y te beso el cuello, je
Deja que se muerdan ello’
I don’t listen to advice, no
Really crazy in the club, I’ll get close dancing and kiss your neck
Let them get mad
When Kendall and Bad Bunny were first spotted cuddled up at a club in February, people were upset that he would date one of America’s reality royals. Making the song about it assumes that you actually lost the IDGAF war though, cause if you really didn’t care, we wouldn’t all be talking about it.
