Muchos saludos para Leo Messi en el nuevo disco de Bad Bunny

Bad Bunny’s relationship status has baffled and intrigued audiences all year. In his new album, Nadie Sabe Lo Que Va a Pasar Mañana, the genre-defying Puerto Rican rapper put to rest all the salacious rumors and confirmed that his one true love is … Lionel Messi, the former Paris Saint-Germain and FC Barcelona soccer player who recently transferred to Miami’s major-league team to presumably retire alongside midwesterners, Disney adults, and whatever other demographics make up the population of Florida. We counted five Messi mentions, making it clear that the World Cup–winning athlete takes up a lot of real estate in Bad Bunny’s heart. He also alluded to his other relationships — his current flame Kendall Jenner appears to get a few shoutouts, primarily about their sex life. But so does his ex, Gabriela Berlingeri, who he seems to be on good terms with post-breakup. He even thanks her at one point — a surprisingly wholesome move considering he spends time in another song saying he was bitter about her texting other guys. Below, every Messi and messy lyric in the new Bad Bunny album:

All the Messi Lyrics

“Monaco”

Lo que tú haga’ a mí no me impresiona

Es como meter un gol después de Messi y Maradona

What you do doesn’t impress me 

It’s like scoring a goal after Messi and Maradona

Messi mention, check.

“Teléfono Nuevo”

El Conejo es Messi, yo soy el Mbappé (Pa’ que sepa’)

“El Conejo” is Messi, I’m the Mbappé

Luar La L raps this verse in the song about longing for the past and being disgruntled with the music industry. If Bad Bunny is the GOAT Messi in the industry, then he is the Mbappé wunderkind.

“Vuelve Candy B”

Desde que Messi

Está en la USA to’ el mundo sabe quién es la cabra, ya no es Tom Brady

Since Messi is in the USA 

Everyone knows who the GOAT is? It’s no longer Tom Brady

His boy Messi is No. 1 in his heart and No. 1 on his list of the greatest athletes of all time. Poor Tom Brady. His wife just left him, he’s dealing with an NFT lawsuit, and he’s still catching strays. Beating a man while he’s down.

“Thunder y Lightning”

Messi, hattrick

Estrella, Patrick

Messi, hattrick

Star, Patrick

Of course a wrestling stan would name his song after two WWC fighters, Thunder and Lightning. In a verse where Eladio Carrión and Bad Bunny trade bars about being rich and partying, Messi gets namechecked, alongside Patrick Star, Aston Martin cars, $100 bills, and Nas’s album Illmatic.

“Acho PR”

Maradona y Messi en el futbol

Pero soy la nueva estrella

Maradona and Messi in football

But I’m the new star

His love drove him to new heights.

All the Messy Lyrics

“Fina”

Que yo soy un bellaco, pero tú me gana’

Bien arrebata’o chingando en casa de tu hermana

That I am a scoundrel, but you beat me 

Good snatch or fucking at your sister’s house

To’ el mundo habla, pero están de espectador 

Se preguntan cómo nos comunicamo’, ey, mejor ni les contamo’

The whole world talks, but they’re spectators 

They wonder how we communicate, but better to not even tell them.

We’re assuming these lyrics are about Kendall and Bad Bunny’s relationship. So, like, we can know you’re sleeping together at Kendall’s sister’s house, but we can’t know how y’all talk to each other?

“Gracias por Nada”

Pero a media noche desperté y te pillé to’ los texts

Tú con él, yo pichándole a toa’

But in the middle of the night I woke up and I caught you

All the texts, you with him, me paying for it all

Perhaps Bad Bunny and his ex Berlingeri broke up over her texting another man. Which isn’t so terrible considering the fact that the rapper spends much of the album talking about his own slutty adventures. Don’t let your boyfriend get in the way of finding the love of your life, ladies.

“No Me Quiero Casar”

Por el momento contigo no puedo estar, je

Yo siempre he sido un hijo ‘e puta, desde gestar, je

For now I can’t be with you, heh

I’ve always been a son of a bitch since I was born, heh

Or, maybe he and Berlingeri broke up because he had to deal with his own issues. Leave it to a man to figure his shit out only after you leave him.

“Acho PR”

Gracia’ a Dios cumplí to’ lo que soñé en la escuela 

Gracia’ Dios por poner en mi camino 

A Jan, a Noah y a Gabriela, je

Por eso ya yo no pido mucho cuando me acuesto

Thank God I accomplished everything I dreamed of in school 

Thank God for putting Jan, Noah and Gabriela on my path, heh 

That’s why I don’t ask for much when I go to bed anymore

Bad Bunny thanks Berlingeri in his musical tribute to those who helped him along the way. Carliz did not get a mention …

“Un Preview”

No me diga’ na’, yo no sigo consejo’, no

Bien loquito en la disco, me pego bailando y te beso el cuello, je

Deja que se muerdan ello’

I don’t listen to advice, no 

Really crazy in the club, I’ll get close dancing and kiss your neck 

Let them get mad

When Kendall and Bad Bunny were first spotted cuddled up at a club in February, people were upset that he would date one of America’s reality royals. Making the song about it assumes that you actually lost the IDGAF war though, cause if you really didn’t care, we wouldn’t all be talking about it.

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